6 Simple Ways to Bring Back the Romance (and the Sex)
Share
Most couples don't stop having sex because they stop loving each other.
They stop connecting.
Life gets busy. Kids happen. Careers become demanding. Chores pile up. Before you know it, you've become amazing roommates... but not necessarily romantic partners.
The good news? Rebuilding intimacy usually doesn't require grand gestures or expensive vacations.
In this episode of Taboo Talk: Not Safe for Brunch, we talked about six surprisingly simple ways couples can reconnect emotionally and physically.
👉 Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/Xrfvv7zkBgg
1. Flirting Shouldn't End After the Honeymoon
One of the biggest myths about desire is that it magically appears at bedtime.
For many people, especially women, attraction starts hours before anyone gets into bed.
A playful text during the day.
A genuine compliment.
Inside jokes.
A little teasing.
These small moments build anticipation and remind your partner they're still someone you actively choose—not just the person who helps pay the mortgage.
Long-term relationships don't lose chemistry overnight. They usually lose the habits that created it.
2. Bring Back Touch Without Expectations
Many couples unintentionally fall into a pattern where every kiss, hug, or massage feels like it has one destination: sex.
When that happens, affection can start feeling like pressure.
Instead, focus on touch simply because you enjoy being close.
Hold hands.
Sit beside each other instead of across the couch.
Give longer hugs.
Touch their hair.
Rest your hand on their leg while driving.
Research shows affectionate touch increases oxytocin, often called the "bonding hormone," helping couples feel safer and more connected. Sometimes that's exactly what reignites desire.
3. Keep Dating Each Other
Dating shouldn't stop once the relationship becomes serious.
The best part?
It doesn't have to cost much.
Some simple ideas include:
- Going for coffee
- Taking a walk together
- Backyard picnics
- Fishing
- Cooking dinner together
- Board game nights
- Lunch dates instead of evening dates
The goal isn't spending money.
It's spending uninterrupted time together.
4. Try Something New Together
New experiences naturally create excitement.
That excitement often spills over into the relationship itself.
You don't need to skydive.
Take a pottery class.
Learn a new language.
Visit somewhere you've never been.
Take a cooking class.
Go whale watching.
Explore a hiking trail you've never tried.
Even tackling a DIY project together creates teamwork, laughter, and shared memories that help break up routine.
5. Reduce Stress Before Expecting More Desire
Stress is one of the biggest intimacy killers.
When someone is mentally carrying the household, parenting responsibilities, scheduling, emotional labour, and endless to-do lists, sex often moves to the bottom of the priority list.
A simple question can change everything:
"What's one thing I can take off your plate today?"
Sometimes your partner doesn't need flowers.
They need someone else to pick up the groceries.
Or take the kids.
Or fold the laundry.
Feeling supported often creates far more intimacy than another attempt at romance.
6. Talk About Sex
It sounds obvious, but many couples will discuss finances, renovations, retirement, and parenting before they'll talk honestly about intimacy.
The conversation doesn't need to be awkward.
Some great questions include:
- What makes you feel desired?
- What would you like more of?
- What are we already doing well?
- What helps you feel connected outside the bedroom?
If talking face-to-face feels intimidating, try bringing it up during a drive. Sometimes removing eye contact makes difficult conversations much easier.
One simple tip from the episode was to always begin with something positive before talking about something you'd like to improve.
That keeps the conversation collaborative instead of critical.
Romance Isn't About Grand Gestures
Movies convince us that romance is spontaneous.
Real life doesn't work that way.
Healthy relationships require intentional effort.
The couples who stay connected usually aren't doing extraordinary things—they're simply doing the ordinary things consistently.
A longer hug.
A thoughtful text.
A date night.
Trying something new.
Helping carry the mental load.
Talking openly.
Those little moments create emotional closeness, and emotional closeness often leads to a stronger physical connection.
Because better sex rarely starts with learning a new position.
It usually starts by helping your partner feel seen, appreciated, valued, and loved.