Episode 8: Bringing Back the Passion: Practical Tips for Rebuilding Intimacy

Intimacy in relationships isn’t a constant—it ebbs and flows. Sometimes, life throws us curveballs, whether it’s stress, kids, career demands, or just falling into the routine of daily life. One day you look at your partner and think, When did we start feeling more like roommates than lovers?

Whether it’s emotional distance, a lack of physical touch, or just realizing it’s been months since you had a real, deep conversation (or more), reconnecting takes effort, but it’s absolutely possible.

The Truth About Relationship Ruts

Every relationship has its ups and downs. And let’s be real—if someone tells you they’ve never had an argument with their partner, they’re lying or suppressing a whole lot of resentment. (Seriously, what are they hiding?) Conflict is normal, and even healthy. It’s how we work through it that matters.

Some people genuinely want to fix things. They’re willing to put in the effort—schedule date nights, have the hard conversations, and prioritize connection. Others? Not so much. And that’s when resentment creeps in, and the cracks start to widen.

Spotting the Signs of Disconnection

If you’re wondering whether your relationship has hit a rough patch, here are a few red flags:
✅ You feel more like roommates than partners.
✅ Conversations feel surface-level or only focus on logistics (kids, bills, schedules).
✅ Physical intimacy has dwindled—or completely disappeared.
✅ You or your partner avoid difficult conversations.
✅ You can’t remember the last time you had fun together.

If any of these sound familiar, don’t panic. The first step is simply recognizing where you are and making the decision to change it.

How to Rebuild Intimacy (Without It Feeling Awkward)

So, how do you go from feeling distant to deeply connected again?

1️⃣ Start with Small Moments
Intimacy doesn’t mean grand gestures. It’s the everyday stuff—touching their arm while you talk, sending a thoughtful text, sitting closer on the couch. Physical and emotional closeness build up over time.

2️⃣ Prioritize Date Nights (Even If It’s Just in Your Living Room)
You don’t have to drop a ton of money on fancy dinners. Go for a walk, take a pottery class (yes, even if it gets messy), or tackle a home project together. It’s about quality time, not the price tag.

3️⃣ Recognize That Timing Matters
Bringing up a serious discussion when your partner just got home from work? Probably not the best idea. Pay attention to when you’re both in the right headspace for deeper conversations.

4️⃣ Have the ‘Where Are We Going?’ Talk
Couples should check in twice a year to talk about their goals. Where do we want to go as individuals? Where do we want to go together? This can be an incredible way to stay aligned and avoid drifting apart.

5️⃣ Communicate, But Don’t Rehash the Past on Repeat
If you’re trying to move forward, move forward. That means if you’ve talked through an issue, don’t bring it up every time you argue. And if you haven’t actually worked through it? Maybe it’s time to seek outside help—whether that’s therapy, a relationship podcast, or trusted friends.

The Role of Physical Intimacy (And Why It Matters)

Let’s talk about sex for a second. Because we have to. Physical intimacy is a huge part of connection, and if it completely disappears, it’s a red flag. That doesn’t mean it’s all about sex—cuddling, kissing, and just being physically affectionate all count. But if it’s been months and you’re both feeling the distance, it’s worth addressing.

When one partner starts pulling away—whether emotionally or physically—it’s often a conscious decision. Ignoring that disconnect doesn’t make it go away.

And here’s the thing: intimacy issues aren’t always about what’s happening in the bedroom. Sometimes, the real problem is happening outside of it. Stress, exhaustion, unresolved conflicts—all of these can kill desire. Which is why rebuilding intimacy starts long before you hit the sheets.

Finding New Ways to Have Fun Together

One of the easiest ways to reconnect? Do something completely new together. Coralie and her husband started tumbling rocks (yes, actual rocks). Vicki has discovered the joy of nap dates. Amber and her husband took a pottery class where they spent the whole time laughing and making a mess.

The point? Shared experiences—big or small—bring you closer. And if you’re not having fun in your relationship, what are you doing?

The Bottom Line: Relationships Take Work

Whether you’re in a long-term marriage, newly dating, or re-entering the relationship world like, intimacy isn’t something that just happens. It’s something we have to actively create.