From Fifty Shades to Wicker: Why Do These Sex Fantasies Turn Us On?
Share
Hollywood has always had a way of making us curious about things we might never consider in real life.
Whether it's a mysterious billionaire with a Red Room, a dangerous affair, or apparently a husband made entirely out of wicker, movies have been pushing the boundaries of sex, power, and desire for decades.
But here's the interesting question: Why can something be incredibly exciting as a fantasy but completely unappealing in real life?
And more importantly, what have these movies taught us about our own sexuality?
šļø We explored all of this (and had a few laughs) on Taboo Talk: Not Safe for Brunch. Watch the full episode on YouTube.
Wicker: A New Kind of Fantasy?
The movie Wicker introduces an unusual premise: a lonely woman has a husband created from wicker, and he comes to life.
Yes, wicker. Like patio furniture.
And suddenly, people are talking about it.
While some are intrigued by the fantasy of having a partner literally made for them, others are wondering about the practical complications. Splinters, anyone?
But underneath the humour is something interesting.
The fantasy isn't necessarily about the wicker. It could be about having the perfect partner, someone created specifically to meet your desires, without the usual complications of relationships.
It's a reminder that what attracts us to a fantasy isn't always what it appears to be on the surface.
Fifty Shades of Grey Changed the Conversation
Love it or hate it, there's no denying that Fifty Shades of Grey changed how people talked about sex.
Before the books became a worldwide phenomenon, conversations about bondage, dominance, submission, and BDSM were often kept private.
Suddenly, women were reading these books in public, discussing them with friends, and becoming curious about experiences they'd never considered before.
For many, it wasn't necessarily about wanting a Christian Grey.
It was about feeling comfortable asking questions.
Could I enjoy being tied up? Is it normal to want someone else to take control? Am I the only one who's curious about this?
Of course, Fifty Shades also raised important concerns about how BDSM was portrayed.
Healthy BDSM is built on informed consent, communication, trust, and boundaries. Controlling or abusive behaviour doesn't become healthy simply because it's presented as romantic.
That's an important distinction between enjoying a fictional fantasy and recognizing what makes a real relationship safe.
The Movies That Pushed Sexual Boundaries
Long before Fifty Shades, Hollywood was exploring the complicated relationship between sex, power, and desire.
9Ā½ Weeks (1986)
This erotic drama explored seduction, control, and an increasingly complicated sexual relationship.
Its popularity grew through home video, giving viewers a more private way to explore a movie that might have felt uncomfortable to watch in public.
Fatal Attraction (1987)
An affair spirals into obsession, revenge, and devastating consequences.
But beyond the suspense, the movie raises questions about responsibility, infidelity, and how women and men are portrayed when relationships fall apart.
It's also a fascinating example of how differently audiences can interpret the same story.
Basic Instinct (1992)
Sharon Stone's performance introduced audiences to a sexually confident female character who wasn't particularly interested in following society's rules.
The movie combined sex, danger, and power, challenging expectations about how women could express their sexuality on screen.
Indecent Proposal (1993)
Would you agree to let someone spend one night with your partner for a million dollars?
It's a question that gets people talking even decades later.
Beyond the money, the story explores jealousy, trust, commitment, and whether everything has a price.
And let's be fair, a million dollars in 1993 was a whole lot of money!
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
This psychological drama explores marriage, jealousy, sexual curiosity, and temptation.
It raises a question many couples eventually face: Do our partners need to know every fantasy we have?
Not necessarily.
Having private thoughts and fantasies doesn't automatically mean there's something missing from your relationship.
Secretary (2002)
Before Fifty Shades, Secretary explored dominance and submission through an unconventional relationship.
Although it became more of a cult favourite than a mainstream phenomenon, it introduced audiences to another portrayal of power and sexual dynamics.
Together, these films show how Hollywood has repeatedly used sexuality to challenge social expectations and spark conversations.
Why Do We Enjoy Fantasies We'd Never Actually Try?
Here's where things get interesting.
A person might enjoy watching a movie about dominance without wanting to be dominated.
Someone might find a dangerous fictional relationship exciting while wanting nothing more than stability, kindness, and respect in their actual relationship.
And someone might enjoy an outrageous supernatural fantasy without wanting to bring anything remotely similar into the bedroom.
Fantasy isn't necessarily a wish list.
Sometimes we're attracted to the excitement of the unknown. Sometimes it's about escaping responsibility, imagining a different version of ourselves, or exploring something that feels forbidden.
Other times, it's simply entertaining.
Our imaginations give us space to explore ideas without the risks, responsibilities, or consequences that might come with experiencing them in real life.
How Movies Helped Normalize Sexual Conversations
One of the biggest impacts of sexually provocative movies isn't necessarily what happens on screen.
It's what happens afterward.
People talk.
Friends compare reactions. Couples ask questions. Someone discovers that a fantasy they've kept private isn't nearly as unusual as they thought.
For those of us who have spent years working in the intimacy industry, Fifty Shades was a particularly noticeable turning point.
Women became more comfortable discussing products, exploring new experiences, and asking questions about pleasure.
It helped move conversations that once felt embarrassing into everyday discussions.
And today, we're seeing similar curiosity through spicy romance novels, fantasy fiction, and online communities where people openly discuss their interests.
Fantasy Doesn't Mean You Have to Act on It
Perhaps the most important lesson from all these movies is that curiosity doesn't require action.
You can enjoy a fantasy without wanting to experience it.
You can be intrigued by something without adding it to your bedroom activities.
And you can change your mind about what interests you over time.
If something does spark genuine curiosity, communication is a great place to start. Talk about what appeals to you, discuss boundaries, and make sure everyone involved feels comfortable.
Because what looks sexy in a movie and what actually feels good in real life can be two very different things.
And when it comes to a husband made of wicker, we're pretty sure some fantasies are better left on the big screen.
So now we're curious: Which movie made you discover a fantasy or interest you never knew you had?
Join Amber, Coralie, and Vicki on Taboo Talk: Not Safe for Brunch as we explore the movies that made generations talk about sex, fantasy, and desire.