HIV Isn’t a Thing of the Past: Why Testing and Awareness Still Matter

When you hear the word HIV, what comes to mind?

For a lot of us, especially those who grew up in the ’80s and ’90s, HIV immediately brings back memories of terrifying news stories, the AIDS crisis, and the belief that HIV primarily affected certain communities.

But HIV didn’t disappear.

And some of the beliefs many of us still carry about who is at risk, what HIV looks like, and who should be tested are decades out of date.

In Manitoba, HIV diagnoses have risen dramatically in recent years. Ontario has also seen a significant increase in first-time HIV diagnoses. And the people being diagnosed aren’t limited to one sexual orientation, age group, gender, or relationship status.

That’s exactly why we tackled this topic on Taboo Talk: Not Safe for Brunch.

🎧 Watch the full episode: Why Are HIV Rates Rising?
https://youtu.be/3IhCs2VxhOk

We talk about the rising numbers, condoms, STI testing, dating in your 40s and 50s, outdated HIV stereotypes, and why asking a new partner to get tested shouldn’t be treated like an accusation.

Because sexual health conversations might occasionally be awkward, but avoiding them doesn’t make the risk disappear.

HIV Can Affect Anyone

One of the most damaging misconceptions left over from the AIDS crisis is the idea that HIV only affects certain groups of people.

It doesn’t.

HIV can affect people of different ages, genders, sexual orientations and relationship structures. Transmission can happen through sexual contact, shared injection equipment and certain other blood exposures.

And you cannot determine someone’s HIV or STI status by looking at them.

They can look healthy. They can be successful. They can have only had a few sexual partners. They can have been married for years.

None of those things is an STI test.

That matters because HIV can also be present without noticeable symptoms. Someone can feel perfectly healthy and still have HIV.

So when someone says, “I’d know if I had something,” the answer is pretty simple:

No. You might not.

Your Sexual History Includes More Than Your Own Partners

Here’s another part of sexual health we don't talk about enough.

When you have sex with someone without a barrier method, their sexual history matters too.

And so does the sexual history of their previous partners.

This doesn’t mean we need to interrogate someone about every person they’ve ever slept with. It means we need to stop pretending that knowing someone, trusting someone, or being attracted to someone tells us anything about their STI status.

Trust and testing are two completely different things.

Asking a partner to get tested doesn’t mean:

“I think you’ve been sleeping around.”

It means:

“I care about my health, I care about yours, and I want us both to know where we stand.”

Frankly, someone willing to have sex with you but unwilling to have a conversation about sexual health is giving you some pretty useful information.

Responsibility is sexy.

Condoms Aren’t Just About Pregnancy

This becomes particularly important as we get older.

Pregnancy prevention may no longer be a concern for some people after menopause, infertility, vasectomy or other circumstances. But removing pregnancy from the equation does not remove STIs.

Dating after divorce, separation or the death of a partner can mean becoming sexually active with new partners for the first time in decades.

You may not have thought about condoms or STI testing since your twenties.

Welcome back. 😂

Condoms and other barrier methods aren't only birth control. They can reduce the risk of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections.

And yes, we know.

Some people don't like condoms.

That's still not a particularly compelling argument against protecting your health.

Getting Tested Doesn't Mean You Did Something Wrong

This is probably one of the biggest mindset shifts we need around sexual health.

An STI test isn't a confession.

It's healthcare.

We routinely get bloodwork, mammograms, Pap tests, prostate screening and other preventative healthcare without assuming we've done something morally wrong.

Sexual health deserves the same treatment.

Depending on your situation, STI screening may include testing for infections such as HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis and hepatitis B or C. Exactly what you're tested for can depend on your sexual history, symptoms, exposure and healthcare provider's recommendations.

And don't assume that asking for “an STI test” automatically means you've been tested for absolutely everything.

Ask what's included.

When Should You Consider STI Testing?

There isn't one testing schedule that's right for every person, because your healthcare provider may recommend something different based on your individual risk factors.

But testing is worth discussing when you have a new sexual partner, before you and a partner stop using condoms, after a possible exposure or condom failure, if a current or former partner tests positive for an STI, or anytime you notice symptoms or changes that concern you.

People with new or multiple partners may benefit from more frequent screening.

And if you haven't been tested in years because you've been in a long-term relationship, it can still be worth having the conversation with your healthcare provider, particularly if neither of you was tested when the relationship began.

Again, testing isn't about accusing anyone of cheating.

It's about knowing.

An HIV Diagnosis Today Is Not What It Was in the 1980s

This is another incredibly important update.

Modern HIV treatment has completely changed what an HIV diagnosis can mean.

With appropriate treatment, people living with HIV can live long, healthy lives. Treatment can also reduce the amount of HIV in the blood to an undetectable level.

And U=U, or Undetectable = Untransmittable, means a person living with HIV who maintains an undetectable viral load does not sexually transmit HIV.

That is a HUGE difference from the HIV messaging many of us grew up hearing.

But treatment starts with knowing your status.

You can't access care for something you don't know you have.

We Need to Stop Treating Sexual Health Like a Moral Issue

Having an STI doesn't make someone dirty.

Getting tested doesn't mean someone is promiscuous.

Asking a partner about testing doesn't mean you don't trust them.

Using condoms in your 40s, 50s, 60s or beyond isn't ridiculous.

And HIV is not somebody else's problem.

The more shame we attach to sexual health, the harder we make it for people to ask questions, access testing, disclose their status and get treatment.

So maybe the biggest change we can make isn't complicated at all.

Talk about it.

Ask when your partner was last tested.

Know when you were last tested.

Use barriers when appropriate.

Ask your healthcare provider what testing makes sense for you.

And if someone makes you feel ridiculous for protecting your sexual health?

Maybe the STI conversation just gave you the answer to a completely different question.

Because knowing your status isn't embarrassing.

It's responsible healthcare.

And if it's been a minute since you've had an STI screening, consider this your slightly inappropriate reminder from the ladies of Taboo Talk: Not Safe for Brunch to put it on your damn to-do list. 😏

For Canadian HIV information and resources, visit CATIE.ca or the Public Health Agency of Canada.

This episode is for general education and awareness and is not a substitute for medical advice.