Your Penis After 40: What Every Man Should Know
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Gentlemen, we have some news.
Your penis is getting older too.
Don’t panic. It hasn’t filed for retirement. But somewhere along the way, you may notice it has started working under slightly different employment conditions.
Maybe erections take a little longer. Maybe you need more stimulation than you used to. Morning wood isn’t quite as enthusiastic. Round two requires an intermission... or possibly a rain check until tomorrow.
So what actually happens to your penis after 40?
We dug into exactly that on Taboo Talk: Not Safe for Brunch, including erections, testosterone, sensitivity, ejaculation, penis size, prostate health and why changes below the belt can sometimes tell you something about the rest of your body.
🎧 Listen to the full episode of Taboo Talk: Not Safe for Brunch here.
Your Penis Does NOT Have an Expiration Date
Let’s kill this myth first.
There isn’t some magical birthday where erections suddenly stop working properly.
Erectile dysfunction does become more common with age, but that doesn’t mean every change should automatically be dismissed as, “Well, I’m getting old.”
As men age, erections may take longer, require more direct stimulation, feel less firm or need continued stimulation to stick around.
And sometimes that’s simply a change you learn to work with.
But erectile difficulties can also be associated with things like cardiovascular disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, obesity, medications, nerve problems, anxiety and stress.
That’s why a persistent change is worth talking about with your healthcare provider instead of quietly assuming your penis has reached its best-before date.
Your penis relies heavily on blood flow. If something changes significantly and stays changed, pay attention to it.
Is It Low Testosterone?
Testosterone gets blamed for damn near everything that happens to men after 40.
Tired? Testosterone.
Lower libido? Testosterone.
Erection isn't cooperating? MUST BE THE TESTOSTERONE.
Except it isn’t always that simple.
Testosterone does naturally decline with age, but low testosterone is an actual medical diagnosis based on symptoms and appropriate blood testing, not simply being over 40.
And here's another important distinction:
Libido and erections aren't the same thing.
A man can desperately want sex and still have difficulty getting or maintaining an erection. He can also have an erection without being particularly horny.
That matters for partners too.
If your partner loses an erection, it doesn't automatically mean they aren't attracted to you.
Don't immediately jump to, “Is it me? Am I not attractive anymore? Do they not want me?”
Talk about it.
Because nothing makes an already stressful erection situation better quite like TWO people silently panicking about what the erection means.
Congratulations, Foreplay Has Entered the Chat
For some men, aging means needing more time, more direct touch, different pressure or simply a different kind of stimulation than what worked 20 years ago.
The old formula of:
Touch penis → penis gets hard → commence intercourse
may become a little less reliable.
Welcome to the wonderful world of foreplay, gentlemen. We've been expecting you.
Sex doesn't have to begin the second an erection appears, and it certainly doesn't have to end because one disappears.
Which brings us to another change...
Round Two Might Need a Minute
The refractory period is the time after orgasm before another erection or orgasm is possible.
When you're younger, that might be pretty damn quick.
As you age, it can take longer. Sometimes significantly longer.
And that's NORMAL.
Instead of measuring a good sexual experience by how many rounds you can squeeze into one night, expand your definition of sex.
Oral sex. Hands. Toys. Mutual masturbation. Touching. Watching your partner pleasure themselves. Making out. Massage.
Your penis can be off duty without everyone else having to clock out too.
What About Morning Wood?
Morning erections aren't a DIY testosterone test.
Changes in spontaneous erections can happen for many reasons, and one morning without one doesn't mean something is wrong.
But if you've noticed a persistent change, particularly alongside other symptoms, that's another thing worth bringing up with a healthcare professional.
Again, the message here isn't PANIC ABOUT YOUR PENIS.
It's PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR BODY.
There's a difference.
Your Prostate Wants Some Attention Too
As men age, prostate changes also become more common.
Benign prostatic hyperplasia, or BPH, is an enlarged prostate that can cause symptoms such as:
- A weak or interrupted urine stream
- Difficulty starting to urinate
- Dribbling
- Urgency or frequency
- Getting up repeatedly during the night to pee
If you're suddenly up three times a night congratulating yourself on your impressive bladder capacity... your bladder might not deserve all the credit.
Talk to your healthcare provider.
And please don't diagnose yourself based on a podcast, blog or three-hour Google rabbit hole at 2 a.m.
Okay... Does Your Penis Actually Get Smaller?
We knew you were waiting for this one.
There isn't a rule that says every man loses a certain amount of penis length after 40.
However, some things can change how your penis looks or functions.
Weight gain can make more of the shaft less visible because of tissue around the base. A less rigid erection can also make the penis appear smaller even if you haven't actually lost length or girth.
Conditions such as Peyronie's disease can cause curvature, pain, erectile difficulties and sometimes shortening.
A new significant curve, pain, lumps or a noticeable change in function deserves medical attention.
And while we're here...
Can we finally stop treating penis size like a performance score?
Sexual pleasure isn't measured with a ruler.
Ejaculation Can Change Too
Some men notice changes in ejaculation as they age.
There may be less semen volume. Ejaculation may be less forceful. It might take longer to reach orgasm.
And none of that automatically means sex or orgasms are worse.
Less volume doesn't equal less pleasure.
Taking longer doesn't equal something is wrong.
Bodies change.
The important question isn't whether your body performs exactly like it did at 25. It's whether you're comfortable, enjoying yourself and communicating with your partner about what feels good NOW.
The Best Thing You Can Do for Your Penis? Take Care of the Guy Attached to It.
This might be the least sexy advice in an article about penises, but it matters.
Your overall health and sexual health are connected.
Regular movement, not smoking, moderating alcohol, eating well, maintaining a healthy weight, managing blood pressure, blood sugar and cholesterol, getting enough sleep and looking after your stress and mental health can all support your overall health, including sexual function.
And if something has genuinely changed and stays changed?
Don't be embarrassed.
Talk to your healthcare provider.
Your penis didn't retire when you turned 40.
Maybe it's a little more high maintenance. Maybe it needs more time, better circulation, less stress or more stimulation.
And maybe you need to stop expecting it to perform on command like it's still 25.
Because your penis is part of your sex life.
It isn't your entire sex life.
Getting older doesn't mean getting less sexy.
It might just mean you need a better user manual.